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“I Thought So”: Of Turkey and Telekinesis

Turkish Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdoğan, following the path laid down by so many strongmen before him, has become so isolated from reality, surrounded by sycophants, and indulged in his own prejudices and fantasies that he is not only seeming increasingly mad, but down right unhinged: Think Muammar Gaddafi meets Vladimir Zhirinovsky meets Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

The latest evidence? The increasing obsession of Erdoğan and those around him that his enemies are using telekinesis to destabilize Turkey. Here, for example is an article reporting on the Prime Ministry’s Inspection Board investigation into a recent spate of suicides at the Turkish military’s research and development arm:

The suspicious suicides of four engineers working at the Turkish corporation ASELSAN could have been caused by telekinesis, according to a report by the Turkish Prime Ministry Inspection Board. The report, presented to the Ankara Public Prosecutor in accordance with the ongoing investigation over the 2006-2007 suicides, claimed the victims could have been directed toward the suicides by way of telekinesis, citing the work done by neuropsychology expert Nevzat Tarhan.

As for those protests which stymied the prime minister’s plans to pave over one of central Istanbul’s last remaining green spaces? The answer, according to Erdoğan’s chief adviser, is telekinesis employed by Turkey’s enemies. And here’s that advisor, Yiğit Bulut, arguing on Turkish television that those nefarious Israelis are trying to kill Erdoğan with their mental powers.

On the count of three, we should all direct our telekinesis to Bulut himself. One, two, three: Oops, my horns keep getting in the way.


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