Commentary Magazine


The Month That Was—November 2012

David Petraeus might be looking back fondly on the relative peace and quiet of Fajullah. — Nov 13

Petraeus’s original draft of his resignation letter read: “I must resign because ALL OF THESE PEOPLE ARE CRAZY PLEASE SEND HELP”  — Nov 12

I could tweet a shirtless photo of myself but if I did I could be arrested for torture under the terms of the Fourth Geneva Convention. — Nov 12

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You know what we haven’t had enough of the past few years? Conspiracy theories. So happy we’re entering a boom market for them. — Nov 10

I’m currently having an intra-marital affair. — Nov 10

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Judging from Fox’s advertising, Mitt Romney must have scored big in the self-lubricating catheter demographic. — Nov 8

91 percent of the media are really happy with election results; 22 percent trying to pretend they’re neither happy nor unhappy. — Nov 10

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I guess those young people got off their beds in their moms’ basements and voted for the guy in the fading poster. — Nov 6

I keep hearing about all this free stuff. Where do I get some? — Nov 6

Curse you, Barack Obama! Because you won I’m going to be receiving 10 psychotic emails a day from birthers for the rest of my life. — Nov 6

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Winners: Barack Obama, Saul Alinsky, Nate Silver, Bayes, Jay Pharoah, Lee Miringoff. 
Losers: Me, America. — Nov 6

Win, lose, or draw, I dearly hope Joe Biden runs for president in 2016 because this country needs a few laughs. — Nov 6

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If Romney loses and you MSMers goad idiot GOP pols into making a big stand at the Iowa Straw Poll I will grind you into dust so help me God. — Nov 5

Silver lining for me after Hurricane Sandy would be permanent power outage at UN. — Oct 30

Re Sandy: I don’t want to scare anybody but I just saw Miss Gulch riding down West End Avenue on her bicycle. — Oct 28

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I will release my college transcripts and passport applications to Donald Trump in exchange for a $5 million contribution to Commentary. — Oct 24

I’m going to be an undecided voter in 2016. I figure I can, at minimum, get a couple of nice steaks and at best a ride on Air Force One. — Oct 23

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Debbie Wasserman Schultz just said Romney didn’t mention Israel. Yes, when he attacked Obama for not going to Israel, he didn’t mention Israel. — Oct 23

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What gives? There hasn’t been a poll in, like, five minutes. — Oct 22

About the Author

John Podhoretz is editor of COMMENTARY.




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