Commentary Magazine


The Panhandling Joke

Starbucks Finish

Finkel is shopping on Orchard Street on the Lower East Side when he is stopped by a man in a threadbare suit, dirty shirt, and torn sneakers who is wearing a yarmulke. “Excuse me, Mister,” says the man, “can you give me five dollars for a cup of coffee?”

Finkel is outraged. “Five dollars for a cup of coffee?” he says. “What, do you need fancy Starbucks? You can go to a Dunkin’ Donuts and get a cup of coffee for 99 cents! What kind of game are you playing, asking five dollars from me!”

“Listen, Mister,” the vagrant says. “You can give me five dollars, you can give me a dollar, you can give me a nickel. But don’t tell me how to run my business.”

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