Commentary Magazine


Three Jokes Involving Insurance

cemetery joke

I

Cohen, who makes ladies’ blouses, runs into Sheinbaum, who makes pajamas, on Seventh Avenue. “I’m so sorry, Sheinbaum,” says Cohen. “I heard about the devastating fire at your factory!”

“Ssssh,” Sheinbaum says. “Next week is the devastating fire at the factory.”

II

Schwartz, who makes children’s underwear, runs into Roth the socks man on 39th Street. “So Roth,” says Schwartz, “did you get in touch with my broker about that new fire-insurance policy?”

“I went somewhere else,” Roth says. “He offered me earthquake insurance instead. I turned him down.”

“I don’t blame you,” says Schwartz. “It’s very difficult to start a convincing earthquake.”

III

Klein designed tax shelters before his retirement. A few years later, his old partners find out he died, and they decide to go visit his final resting place in New Jersey. They get to the cemetery and wander around for an hour.

“Where’s the tombstone?” Menkin asks. 

Finkel answers, “He probably put it in his wife’s name.”

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