Commentary Magazine


Topic: e-el

Don’t Try This at Home. No, Seriously.

So this guy, this North Korean financial-guru guy, was put in front of a firing squad because his fiscal policy was goofy.

Mr Pak Nam Ki was responsible for revaluing the communist regime’s currency last November, but his attempts to curb inflation caused nationwide misery — and leader Kim Jong Ill was not amused.

It is understood the execution is an attempt to contain civil unrest.

His last words?

What the –? We’re a Communist dictatorship. H-e-e-e-e-el-l-l-o-o-o-o. Our economy is SUPPOSED TO COLLAPSE. I thought you guys wanted massive inflation and a worthless currency — and so delivered same in a timely fashion. Had anyone seriously suggested that I revive our economy, I would have said, “First, shoot the little dimwit with the Golf Channel sunglasses.” Wait — you told me I could have cigarette first … What do I care if it causes cancer? … Secondhand smoke? Are you kidding me with the secondhand smoke? The entire country is enveloped in a cloud of toxic waste and you’re worried about secondhand smo–

Now why all of  sudden can’t I get this out of me head?

So this guy, this North Korean financial-guru guy, was put in front of a firing squad because his fiscal policy was goofy.

Mr Pak Nam Ki was responsible for revaluing the communist regime’s currency last November, but his attempts to curb inflation caused nationwide misery — and leader Kim Jong Ill was not amused.

It is understood the execution is an attempt to contain civil unrest.

His last words?

What the –? We’re a Communist dictatorship. H-e-e-e-e-el-l-l-o-o-o-o. Our economy is SUPPOSED TO COLLAPSE. I thought you guys wanted massive inflation and a worthless currency — and so delivered same in a timely fashion. Had anyone seriously suggested that I revive our economy, I would have said, “First, shoot the little dimwit with the Golf Channel sunglasses.” Wait — you told me I could have cigarette first … What do I care if it causes cancer? … Secondhand smoke? Are you kidding me with the secondhand smoke? The entire country is enveloped in a cloud of toxic waste and you’re worried about secondhand smo–

Now why all of  sudden can’t I get this out of me head?

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