Commentary Magazine


Topic: Eva Perón

Strange Herring

Another American hero soiled: The father of our country owes $300,000 in … library fines. And I had the police knocking at my door because I kept Nuclear War: What’s in It for You? an extra day…

National Day of Prayer ruled unconstitutional because it encourages prayer. Hence the name. Closing federal institutions on Christmas also ruled unconstitutional because it encourages

Tea Party crasher cum public school teacher gets failing grade from his union. Apparently silencing political opposition via questionable tactics (“he called on his supporters to collect the Social Security numbers — among other personal identifying information — about as many Tea Party supporters as possible”) risks damaging his credibility. This from his union.

Speaking of escaped inmates, dressing like a sheep should always be Plan A.

Watching 3-D TV may be hazardous to your health. Side effects include dizziness, nausea, and Avatar: The Director’s Cut. Not necessarily in that order.

Back in January, Secretary of Defense Gates warned the White House that its Iran policy stinked. The White House denies that the memo had any effect in its decision-making of late. “We are impervious to criticism,” said one insider who agreed to speak with me on promise of anonymity and $11. “Facts are just the lazy man’s excuse not to dream. Yes, dream … the impossible dream. To fight … the unbeatable foe … to bea-a-a-r-r … with unbearable sorro-o-o-o-w … to–”

Holocaust-denying loony-bin attendant Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is convinced that he and Obama make a great team. Like Juan and Eva Peron. Or Kukla, Fran, and Ollie. Without Ollie.

So Apple has decided that banning a Pulitzer Prize-winning cartoonist’s iPhone app for satirizing public figures may have been a mistake. Someone at the Apple store needs an anti-depressant. Or a dictionary.

Nude models shocked, shocked, that people grope them in MoMA exhibitionist exhibition. Where’s Fiorello LaGuardia when you need him?

If you’re an alcoholic, eat more chocolate. On the other hand, if you’re a diabetic, you’re … but this is a family blog.

You know he’s faking, don’t you?

Phoenix has a musical-instrument museum. (Well, it had to do something, what with Camp Verde getting all that attention with its Wicker Wonderland.)

Nicholas Cage wants to be buried beneath a pyramid, as opposed to a mountain of debts. Good call, good call.

Your pets are trying to kill you, no doubt in an effort to assume the reins of power and reduce what’s left of humankind to chattel slavery. Just like in those monkey-planet movies. Remember this the next time you’re mulling over Science Diet fare versus that sandwich that’s been in your knapsack since Wednesday.

A 20-year-old woman has been barred — from every single bar in the United Kingdom. When they say “No shirt, no shoes, no service,” they mean it over there.

Think twice before naming your baby Apple or Dweezil or Pope Alexander VI. You may live to regret it.

And finally, Tracy City, Tennessee, has elected a dead man mayor. Accusations of corruption immediately followed.

And that’s news you can use. I’ll be back next week. Unless the laws change.

Another American hero soiled: The father of our country owes $300,000 in … library fines. And I had the police knocking at my door because I kept Nuclear War: What’s in It for You? an extra day…

National Day of Prayer ruled unconstitutional because it encourages prayer. Hence the name. Closing federal institutions on Christmas also ruled unconstitutional because it encourages

Tea Party crasher cum public school teacher gets failing grade from his union. Apparently silencing political opposition via questionable tactics (“he called on his supporters to collect the Social Security numbers — among other personal identifying information — about as many Tea Party supporters as possible”) risks damaging his credibility. This from his union.

Speaking of escaped inmates, dressing like a sheep should always be Plan A.

Watching 3-D TV may be hazardous to your health. Side effects include dizziness, nausea, and Avatar: The Director’s Cut. Not necessarily in that order.

Back in January, Secretary of Defense Gates warned the White House that its Iran policy stinked. The White House denies that the memo had any effect in its decision-making of late. “We are impervious to criticism,” said one insider who agreed to speak with me on promise of anonymity and $11. “Facts are just the lazy man’s excuse not to dream. Yes, dream … the impossible dream. To fight … the unbeatable foe … to bea-a-a-r-r … with unbearable sorro-o-o-o-w … to–”

Holocaust-denying loony-bin attendant Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is convinced that he and Obama make a great team. Like Juan and Eva Peron. Or Kukla, Fran, and Ollie. Without Ollie.

So Apple has decided that banning a Pulitzer Prize-winning cartoonist’s iPhone app for satirizing public figures may have been a mistake. Someone at the Apple store needs an anti-depressant. Or a dictionary.

Nude models shocked, shocked, that people grope them in MoMA exhibitionist exhibition. Where’s Fiorello LaGuardia when you need him?

If you’re an alcoholic, eat more chocolate. On the other hand, if you’re a diabetic, you’re … but this is a family blog.

You know he’s faking, don’t you?

Phoenix has a musical-instrument museum. (Well, it had to do something, what with Camp Verde getting all that attention with its Wicker Wonderland.)

Nicholas Cage wants to be buried beneath a pyramid, as opposed to a mountain of debts. Good call, good call.

Your pets are trying to kill you, no doubt in an effort to assume the reins of power and reduce what’s left of humankind to chattel slavery. Just like in those monkey-planet movies. Remember this the next time you’re mulling over Science Diet fare versus that sandwich that’s been in your knapsack since Wednesday.

A 20-year-old woman has been barred — from every single bar in the United Kingdom. When they say “No shirt, no shoes, no service,” they mean it over there.

Think twice before naming your baby Apple or Dweezil or Pope Alexander VI. You may live to regret it.

And finally, Tracy City, Tennessee, has elected a dead man mayor. Accusations of corruption immediately followed.

And that’s news you can use. I’ll be back next week. Unless the laws change.

Read Less

Worth Studying

Richard Cohen in a bile-filled column asserts, “The Palin Movement is fueled by high-octane bile, and it is worth watching and studying for these reasons alone.” Uh, not exactly. It seems the bile is flowing from one side these days. Clue: it’s the crowd that refers to her as Eva Perón, Madonna, and “the empty vessel,” as Cohen does. (As opposed to Barack Obama, who was the blank slate upon whom voters could project their every desire.)

Cohen’s column uses the conceit that former President George W. Bush should be setting up an Institute for the Study of Sarah Palin. Well, let’s stipulate that something is worth studying here.

For starters, how does Palin induce Cohen and crew to adopt such loopy, self-defeating arguments? When Cohen howls at the prospect of her “meeting with the Chinese or, for that matter, conducting a protracted policy review about Afghanistan,” he’s not helping his case. I am confident that months ago, she would have sized up Gen. Stanley McChrystal’s recommendation and given the go-ahead after observing that not a single military commander (domestic or allied) disagreed with McChrystal’s take and that “light footprint” alternatives had been tried and failed in Iraq and Afghanistan. And I think it’s safe to assume that she wouldn’t be in the unfortunate position of having snubbed the Dalai Lama before a China trip, thereby signaling our abject weakness.

Now in fairness to Cohen, he gets one thing right: he thinks the McCain camp, which picked her, is deserving of scorn for having imagined they’d bottle her up and then embarking on a campaign of character assassination. But the rest of Cohen’s tirade is something to behold. Her selection, he pronounces, was the “exact moment important Republicans gave up on democracy.” I bet that escaped your notice. (Or maybe you thought the moment some folks gave up on democracy might have been when a campaign adopted creepy iconography and devoted followers started referring to their leader as a deity, not a mortal running for a constitutionally circumscribed office.) Whatever causes Cohen to go around this bend is indeed worth a seminar or two.

Now here’s a killer argument: the fine folks who run the Weekly Standard and Wall Street Journal wouldn’t hire her as an editor but would want her as president, Cohen snorts. Yes, because we all know that what it takes to be a great president is exactly what it takes to put out a good magazine or newspaper. Really, if you can’t cut a 3,000-word column by a third, how are you going to balance the federal budget? (Cohen does know that politicians hire people to write things for them, right?) This is what happens when critics become irrational — they make arguments that confuse “editor” with “commander in chief.”

And then Cohen meanders over to the “death panels,” shouting “Demagogue!” Well, the provision for end-of-life-counseling panels was stripped from the bill once Palin issued her Facebook critique, and her argument on government-induced rationing was a prime mover in generating opposition to ObamaCare. But Cohen’s on the side of rationality, and Palin’s the demagogue, so let’s not let facts get in the way.

What’s important to keep in mind is that she’s a salesgirl, a celebrity starlet (“Like most celebrities, she is a vehicle for the sale of something: a book, a magazine, a TV program or a diet regime”). And this is why Cohen concludes that her popularity among Republicans is evidence of hatred: “What they mean is that she will act out their resentments — take an ax to the people and institutions they hate.”

Axes? Hate? My, it seems there is a group of the unhinged marauding around the political landscape. But it’s rather apparent that it isn’t the “Palin Movement.” (Does she have a movement all to herself?) Whatever you think of Palin, you do have to marvel at the frenzied antagonism she induces in her critics. And yes, that’s worth looking into as a political and social phenomenon — and, as people like Cohen’s colleague Kathleen Parker (another victim of Palin-induced rage) remind us, we really are short on civility these days.

Richard Cohen in a bile-filled column asserts, “The Palin Movement is fueled by high-octane bile, and it is worth watching and studying for these reasons alone.” Uh, not exactly. It seems the bile is flowing from one side these days. Clue: it’s the crowd that refers to her as Eva Perón, Madonna, and “the empty vessel,” as Cohen does. (As opposed to Barack Obama, who was the blank slate upon whom voters could project their every desire.)

Cohen’s column uses the conceit that former President George W. Bush should be setting up an Institute for the Study of Sarah Palin. Well, let’s stipulate that something is worth studying here.

For starters, how does Palin induce Cohen and crew to adopt such loopy, self-defeating arguments? When Cohen howls at the prospect of her “meeting with the Chinese or, for that matter, conducting a protracted policy review about Afghanistan,” he’s not helping his case. I am confident that months ago, she would have sized up Gen. Stanley McChrystal’s recommendation and given the go-ahead after observing that not a single military commander (domestic or allied) disagreed with McChrystal’s take and that “light footprint” alternatives had been tried and failed in Iraq and Afghanistan. And I think it’s safe to assume that she wouldn’t be in the unfortunate position of having snubbed the Dalai Lama before a China trip, thereby signaling our abject weakness.

Now in fairness to Cohen, he gets one thing right: he thinks the McCain camp, which picked her, is deserving of scorn for having imagined they’d bottle her up and then embarking on a campaign of character assassination. But the rest of Cohen’s tirade is something to behold. Her selection, he pronounces, was the “exact moment important Republicans gave up on democracy.” I bet that escaped your notice. (Or maybe you thought the moment some folks gave up on democracy might have been when a campaign adopted creepy iconography and devoted followers started referring to their leader as a deity, not a mortal running for a constitutionally circumscribed office.) Whatever causes Cohen to go around this bend is indeed worth a seminar or two.

Now here’s a killer argument: the fine folks who run the Weekly Standard and Wall Street Journal wouldn’t hire her as an editor but would want her as president, Cohen snorts. Yes, because we all know that what it takes to be a great president is exactly what it takes to put out a good magazine or newspaper. Really, if you can’t cut a 3,000-word column by a third, how are you going to balance the federal budget? (Cohen does know that politicians hire people to write things for them, right?) This is what happens when critics become irrational — they make arguments that confuse “editor” with “commander in chief.”

And then Cohen meanders over to the “death panels,” shouting “Demagogue!” Well, the provision for end-of-life-counseling panels was stripped from the bill once Palin issued her Facebook critique, and her argument on government-induced rationing was a prime mover in generating opposition to ObamaCare. But Cohen’s on the side of rationality, and Palin’s the demagogue, so let’s not let facts get in the way.

What’s important to keep in mind is that she’s a salesgirl, a celebrity starlet (“Like most celebrities, she is a vehicle for the sale of something: a book, a magazine, a TV program or a diet regime”). And this is why Cohen concludes that her popularity among Republicans is evidence of hatred: “What they mean is that she will act out their resentments — take an ax to the people and institutions they hate.”

Axes? Hate? My, it seems there is a group of the unhinged marauding around the political landscape. But it’s rather apparent that it isn’t the “Palin Movement.” (Does she have a movement all to herself?) Whatever you think of Palin, you do have to marvel at the frenzied antagonism she induces in her critics. And yes, that’s worth looking into as a political and social phenomenon — and, as people like Cohen’s colleague Kathleen Parker (another victim of Palin-induced rage) remind us, we really are short on civility these days.

Read Less




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