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Osama bin Laden Not World’s Greatest Dad. Film at 11.

So Vanity Fair has an excerpt from Growing Up Bin Laden, by the Most Wanted’s son Omar, in which the arch-terrorist is described as having a prodigious memory, a penchant for soccer, and —

You might have guessed by now that my father was not an affectionate man. He never cuddled with me or my brothers. I tried to force him to show affection, and was told that I made a pest of myself. When he was home, I remained near, pulling attention-gaining pranks as frequently as I dared. Nothing sparked his fatherly warmth. In fact, my annoying behavior encouraged him to start carrying his signature cane. As time passed, he began caning me and my brothers for the slightest infraction.

So no one is ever going to sew the name Cuddles into his jammies. Got it.

Please, please let there not be a reality show in this, as there was with Growing Up Gotti. I might have to take my signature caning stick to the moving-picture box.



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