That guy from House and Harold and Kumar Go to Sex Rehab or whatever the heck it was is bailing on Obama. He wants back into showbiz. As if he ever left …
So 125,000 people waited 48 hours to buy an iPad only to learn that the Apple Store on Fifth Avenue had stocked only seven — and two of those were 8-track players found under the floorboards of the Chelsea Hotel.
If you thought Grimm’s fairy tales were a tad too German, you’re going to hate these. (My personal favorite: I Wish Daddy Didn’t Drink So Much, which, of course, was a sequel to I Wish Daddy Didn’t Violate Parole So Much, I Wish Daddy Didn’t Bring His Girlfriends Home So Much, and the ever-popular British pop-up book I Wish I Had a Daddy — Full Stop.)
If the password for your online banking account is fidogodmoney, consider changing it now. However, if it’s iknowUarebutwhatamI* — it would take 155 million millennia to hack it. (Well, not now. Of course, not now.)
Some Dems are turning to the Tea Parties for consolation. (But given that they’re Dems, does it have to be Green Tea?)
I seriously advise against online betting, but just in case you’re curious, the Yankees are favored to win the World Series again (contain your enthusiasm) and the Washington Nationals are the least favored. (The one time I did place a bet, it was on the Atlanta Braves to go all the way. Unfortunately, I did so at Pimlico.)
Allow me to ruin the ending of Roman Polanski’s calamitously stupid and self-pitying The Ghost Writer — it was Cherie Blair who done it.
It’s unconstitutional to sentence a repeat felon more harshly than you would a one-time offender. But only if a judge is the one doing the sentencing. So Sal, from Sal’s Pizza and Frontier Justice, can sentence away.
It appears that Bush illegally wiretapped an Islamic charity. Yes, but did he declare it on his taxes?
NPR.org — that’s right, a website — won a Peabody Award for “Outstanding Interpretation of ASCC-II Text Documents in a Graphically Rich Interface.” Let’s see Edward R. Murrow top that …
There had to be a second gunman on the grassy knoll, because somebody shot Erykah Badu in Dealey Plaza and not even Oswald deserves to take the hit for it. (The perpetrator will get off with only a $500 fine, however. Darn mollycoddlers — which, come to think of it, wouldn’t be a bad name for a band.)
Jesse James says the Nazi outfit was a gift from a Jewish friend. How many of you feel better? One … one … I’m sorry, were you raising your — oh, sure … it’s the second door on the left …
In case you were wondering, rats laugh when you tickle them. (I know you weren’t wondering. Who — who would wonder about such a thing?)
In case you were wondering, rats also start population-depleting plagues. So tickle at your own risk.
Ten-year-old tased by police in Indiana. I guess in some parts that’s considered “excessive.” Obviously, they’ve never attended parochial school.
There’s a movie called The Cat from Outer Space. I have nothing more to add. I just thought you should know.