With apologies to Meredith Willson, the author of the great Broadway show The Music Man, following along the lines of his song (you can hear it here) “Iowa Stubborn.”
Well, there’s nothing halfway
About the Iowa way of doing things
When caucuses and leap years come to call.
There’s an Iowa kind of stupid
That makes us cook Fried Twinkies
For the pols.
We can be full
Of the worst kind of
When you ask how we will allocate ourselves.
And we’re so by-damn stubborn
We made an app to add up all the votes
And preened ‘cause we only spent 60K.
But we’ll thrill you a lot
By indulging your paranoia
When our app just happens to die!
So what the heck
Glad to have you with us.
You can have the delegate that you brought for yourself.
You really ought to give Iowa a pass.